Love is Kindness

by Busymumhacks

The advertisement for Valentine’s Day around the world for 14 February is something that you would not miss. Valentine’s Day is celebrated in many countries around the world and remains a popular holiday for expressing love.

The origins of Valentine’s Day as a holiday celebrating love and affection between intimate partners can be traced back to ancient Rome, where a festival called Lupercalia was held in mid-February.

During this festival, men would draw the names of women from a box and pair off as couples for the duration of the festival.

In 496 AD, Pope Gelasius I declared February 14th as St. Valentine’s Day to Christianise the pagan festival of Lupercalia.

The day became associated with St. Valentine, a Christian martyr who was imprisoned and executed for secretly marrying couples in ancient Rome during a time when marriage was banned.

The holiday became increasingly popular in the 18th and 19th centuries, and by the early 20th century, it had become a commercial holiday associated with gift-giving and romantic dinners.

To me, it is another commercialisation now in the name of love where the price of flowers increased due to the celebration, restaurants are fully booked for candlelit dinners, valentine’s day trinkets and men are asking for the deeds on valentine’s day 😊

Once upon a time when I was young, I used to make a handcraft leading to Valentine’s Day for my friends at school.  To ensure that no one knows who I admired, I made it for the whole class.  Yes, I had so much time on hand, right?

What’s your love language?

Love language refers to how individuals express and receive love. The concept was popularised by Gary Chapman in his book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate”.

This can be used for families and friends. According to Chapman, there are five primary love languages:

  • Words of Affirmation: expressing love through verbal compliments and encouragement.

  • Acts of Service: demonstrating love through actions, such as doing chores or running errands.

  • Receiving Gifts: showing love through the giving and receiving of presents.

  • Quality Time: giving someone your undivided attention and spending time together.

  • Physical Touch: expressing love through physical contacts, such as hugs and holding hands.

Your love language may be something that you had been brought up with.  For example, my parents didn’t buy flowers or hugs to show affection. 

They expressed their love through an act of service by making sure that they provided the house and necessities for growing up.

There is no right or wrong way to show love however it needs to be acknowledged that your love language may not be the same as others and to be reciprocated it needs to be communicated to meet both parties.

Now by getting older and hopefully wiser, I don’t believe that showing love is only shown for one day a year, it needs to be celebrated every day because you never know if tomorrow ever comes.  

I am not bitter that I don’t have any partner to celebrate Valentine’s Day. 

My ex had a romantic gesture by sending flowers, took me out for a fancy dinner, physical touch, etc. 

Fortunately, I can buy myself flowers when I want to, I can treat myself to a nice meal if I want to, so I don’t expect or wait to get flowers on Valentine’s Day.

I have all year round with my little precious boy to celebrate love, so I don’t feel that I am missing out on anything. 

We formulate our love language by having 5 minutes of cuddling every day before we wake up, we complement and thank each other for the act of service we have done, and we give practical gifts and quality time. 

We bought flowers for both grandmothers of my little boy a few days ago instead of today.

If you don’t have a partner, show love to yourself and the people surrounding you.  

How do you celebrate Valentine’s Day?

After all, Love is Kindness.

With much love

Busymumhacks x


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