The 26 January is known as Australia Day. It is a public holiday yet a controversy day because it is honouring the establishment of the first permanent European settlement on the continent of Australia. To me, it is always my Father’s Day. It was his birthday.
He passed away at the age of 66 years and for this era, that is quite a young age.
He is my biological father.
I was his first princess although my sister is the one who got a name which means Princess.
Was he perfect?
Maybe he wasn’t perfect to others but to me, he tried his best shot.
I am lucky to have such a role model.
He played a significant role model in the upbringing and development of my characters.
He provided emotional and financial support, guidance, and discipline.
My father was a figure of authority and responsibility within the family, yet he was tender and loving inside.
My memory of my father always pleasant except when years ago he lost the business his built.
He was lost because he was always busy with work and suddenly had not much things going on.
I could remember his vulnerability during that time, yet he showed his strength differently.
He was always my rock that I relied on heavily.
When I lost him the year that my son was born, I was completely devastated.
To feel both extreme emotions of joyous birth and death in one year was overwhelming.
I have never felt that feeling in my whole life.
Losing my father is one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through.
The loss of a father is not only a loss of a parent, but also a loss of a role model, a confidant, and a protector.
The grief and emotions that come with losing a father can be overwhelming and can feel never-ending.
For many people including myself, the death of a father brings a sense of emptiness and a feeling of being lost. The void left by the loss of a father can be felt in all aspects of life, from daily routines to major life events.
It can be difficult to imagine life without the presence of a father and the guidance and support he provided.
The grieving process is different for everyone, and there is no set timeline for how long it should take. Some people may begin to feel better relatively quickly, while others may take much longer to start to heal.
Grief is not a linear process, and it can come in waves, with some days or weeks feeling better and others feeling worse. It took me a good 3 years to overcome the grief.
It took me longer than normal because I also had to deal with other situations.
Covid was a blessing in disguise for me, I had the time to stay low and away from people but solitude with myself.
I knew that I came to peace with the grieving when I saw an asparagus fern plant when I went to a forest retreat.
It is important to remember that healing from grief is not about forgetting the person who has died, but rather learning to live with the loss and to find ways to hold onto the love and memories of the person who has passed away.
The hole in your heart will always be there but it is little less painful as the years go by.
Some ways to cope with grief include:
-
Allow yourself to feel your emotions.
Don’t try to suppress them or push them away. If you need to cry, cry it out. It is a huge emotion. Although death is expected but not many are ready to deal with it when it comes.
-
Talk to someone about your feelings.
This can be a friend, a family member, a therapist, or a support group.
-
Take care of yourself physically.
Eat well, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. I lost weight due to loss of appetite but it had now passed.
-
Find healthy ways to remember your father.
This can be through writing, art, or other creative outlets.
-
Seek professional help if needed.
It is important to seek professional help if grief is interfering with your daily life and you can’t seem to move forward. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you work through your grief.
The loss of a father can also bring about feelings of guilt and regret for things left unsaid or undone. These feelings are normal and that it’s never too late to express your love and gratitude for your father.
Losing a father is a difficult and painful experience. It’s important to allow yourself to grieve in your own way and to give yourself time to heal.
Remember to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally and seek support when needed.
Keep your father’s memories close to your heart and try to find ways to honor his legacy and keep his spirit alive.
Happy birthday, pipi!
Much love,
Your little princess x
