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Mum self care

My Father’s Day – Coping With Grief

by Busymumhacks January 27, 2023
written by Busymumhacks

The 26 January is known as Australia Day.  It is a public holiday yet a controversy day because it is honouring the establishment of the first permanent European settlement on the continent of Australia. To me, it is always my Father’s Day. It was his birthday.  

He passed away at the age of 66 years and for this era, that is quite a young age.  

He is my biological father. 

I was his first princess although my sister is the one who got a name which means Princess.

Was he perfect?

Maybe he wasn’t perfect to others but to me, he tried his best shot.

I am lucky to have such a role model.

He played a significant role model in the upbringing and development of my characters. 

He provided emotional and financial support, guidance, and discipline.

My father was a figure of authority and responsibility within the family, yet he was tender and loving inside.

My memory of my father always pleasant except when years ago he lost the business his built. 

He was lost because he was always busy with work and suddenly had not much things going on. 

I could remember his vulnerability during that time, yet he showed his strength differently.

He was always my rock that I relied on heavily.

When I lost him the year that my son was born, I was completely devastated.

To feel both extreme emotions of joyous birth and death in one year was overwhelming.

I have never felt that feeling in my whole life.

Losing my father is one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through.

The loss of a father is not only a loss of a parent, but also a loss of a role model, a confidant, and a protector.

The grief and emotions that come with losing a father can be overwhelming and can feel never-ending.

For many people including myself, the death of a father brings a sense of emptiness and a feeling of being lost. The void left by the loss of a father can be felt in all aspects of life, from daily routines to major life events.

It can be difficult to imagine life without the presence of a father and the guidance and support he provided.

The grieving process is different for everyone, and there is no set timeline for how long it should take. Some people may begin to feel better relatively quickly, while others may take much longer to start to heal. 

Grief is not a linear process, and it can come in waves, with some days or weeks feeling better and others feeling worse. It took me a good 3 years to overcome the grief. 

It took me longer than normal because I also had to deal with other situations. 

Covid was a blessing in disguise for me, I had the time to stay low and away from people but solitude with myself.

I knew that I came to peace with the grieving when I saw an asparagus fern plant when I went to a forest retreat.  

It is important to remember that healing from grief is not about forgetting the person who has died, but rather learning to live with the loss and to find ways to hold onto the love and memories of the person who has passed away.

The hole in your heart will always be there but it is little less painful as the years go by.

Some ways to cope with grief include:

  • Allow yourself to feel your emotions. 

Don’t try to suppress them or push them away. If you need to cry, cry it out. It is a huge emotion. Although death is expected but not many are ready to deal with it when it comes.

  • Talk to someone about your feelings. 

This can be a friend, a family member, a therapist, or a support group. 

  • Take care of yourself physically. 

Eat well, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. I lost weight due to loss of appetite but it had now passed. 

  • Find healthy ways to remember your father. 

This can be through writing, art, or other creative outlets.

  • Seek professional help if needed.

It is important to seek professional help if grief is interfering with your daily life and you can’t seem to move forward. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you work through your grief.

The loss of a father can also bring about feelings of guilt and regret for things left unsaid or undone. These feelings are normal and that it’s never too late to express your love and gratitude for your father. 

Losing a father is a difficult and painful experience. It’s important to allow yourself to grieve in your own way and to give yourself time to heal. 

Remember to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally and seek support when needed. 

Keep your father’s memories close to your heart and try to find ways to honor his legacy and keep his spirit alive.

Happy birthday, pipi! 

Much love, 

Your little princess x

Busymumhacks

January 27, 2023 0 comment
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Mum self care

Mom Guilt Worksheet

by Busymumhacks January 19, 2023
written by Busymumhacks

You’re a mom, so there’s a high probability that you’ve experienced mom guilt before. 

Feeling bad about a mistake you made is healthy and can help you choose a wiser, more effective option in the future. However, being consumed with guilt is another story, and this kind of shame can be counterproductive, causing you to focus on problems, become irritable, and be more likely to make the mistakes you’re trying to avoid.  

You can use this mom guilt worksheet to help you put into journal. Kindly click the link below to download the worksheet!

For more busy mum hacks and tips, head to www.busymumhacks.com.

Mom Guilt – Worksheet

January 19, 2023 0 comment
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Mum self care

We Are Not Broken, We are Kintsugi Mums

by Busymumhacks January 17, 2023
written by Busymumhacks

Firstly, have you ever heard of We Are Not Broken Day? 

I personally haven’t but here we are creating the awareness of the day.

It is celebrated internationally on 17 January. This day is to celebrate the fact that “We Are Not Broken” despite what society thinks of those that have endured trauma, have mental illness, have had amputations, had physical scars or had invisible illness. 

Secondly, have you heard of the Kintsugi art? 

It is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold. It is built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art.

Let’s embrace both broken and kintsugi art in our motherhood lives.

When we talk about broken, it indicates something that is no longer in working order, trauma and disease does not dictate that we are broken and never should. 

Our lives are full of ups and downs.

So often when we are hit with a challenge that changes our physical being or the state in which we live daily because of something out of our control we are labelled as broken or soft. These labels lead to depression, isolation, guilt, second-guessed, something beyond our control now becomes a whole other issue in our lives.

This cycle needs to stop, we need to recognise we are not broken or damaged or in need of repair, we overcome, and we can challenge the societal norms and change the narrative.

The guilt that is closer to our hearts is the mom’s guilt.

You will feel guilty whether for going back to work after bearing the child. or for staying at home to raise the child.  

You can’t win and both don’t serve anyone any good.

There are several ways to overcome “mom’s guilt” of going back to work:

  • Reframe your mindset!

Instead of thinking about what you’re missing out on, focus on the positive aspects of working, such as the financial benefits, the sense of accomplishment, and the opportunity for personal growth.

  • If you have partner, communicate clearly with your partner.

Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling and work together to create a schedule that allows you to spend quality time with your children.

If you don’t have partner, communicate clearly with your support networks whether it is your extended family, day care, school, work on schedules, expectations, and boundaries.

  • Prioritise time with your children.

Make the most of the time you do have with your children by planning fun activities and being fully present when you’re with them.  Quality over quantity. Activity doesn’t have to be expensive.  Walking or riding around the block to get some fresh air away from technologies is good enough to recharge.

  • Seek support.

Connect with other working mothers to share your experiences and gain support and encouragement. Utilise the counselling session such as Employee Assistant Program that most company have in place to support its employee. 

  • Take care of yourself.

Make sure you’re taking care of your own physical and emotional well-being. This will help you feel more balanced and less guilty. Read my other blog on meditation helps me set up intention for each day.

  • Embrace the guilt.

Sometimes accepting that you will feel guilty and that it’s normal can help you feel less burdened by it. Acceptance is a positive emotion.

  • Find a balance that works for you and your family.

There is no one size fits all solution to this, try different arrangements and find what works best for you and your family. It is trial and error until you find your mojo.

Equally, staying at home and not earning income can also be a common feeling for mothers who have chosen to take care of their children full-time rather than pursuing a career. This guilt can stem from feelings of not contributing financially to the family, not having a sense of purpose or identity outside of being a mother, or the belief that they should be working and earning money.

There are several ways to overcome “mom’s guilt” for staying at home and not earning income:

  • Reframe your mindset.

Instead of thinking about what you’re missing out on, focus on the positive aspects of being a stay-at-home parent, such as being able to be there for your children during important moments, having the flexibility to make your own schedule, and the opportunity to be fully present in your children’s lives.

  • Find a sense of purpose.

Look for ways to volunteer, take a class, or pursue a hobby that allows you to use your skills and interests outside of being a parent. Learning new skill or upskilling for when you are ready to return to the workforce.

  • Communicate with your partner or family.

Talk to your partner or family about how you’re feeling and work together to create a plan for how you will contribute financially to the family.

  • Seek support.

Connect with other stay-at-home mothers to share your experiences and gain support and encouragement.

Support can also be financial support so reach out to Centrelink or other government support if required.

  • Take care of yourself.

Make sure you’re taking care of your own physical and emotional well-being. This will help you feel more balanced and less guilty.

  • Embrace the guilt.

Sometimes accepting that you will feel guilty and that it’s normal can help you feel less burdened by it.

  • Find a balance that works for you and your family.

There is no one size fits all solution to this, try different arrangements and find what works best for you and your family. Not going to work don’t mean that you can’t have a good routine. Read my blog on 10 Daily Practical Idea.

Remember, it’s important to remember that both working and being a stay-at-home parent is a balancing act and it’s okay to not have everything figured out. It’s normal to feel guilty sometimes. The most important thing is to not let it consume you and to try to find a balance that works for you and your family.

We are not perfect, we are not superwomen, we are just mothers doing the best we can with the love and support we have. Being a mother is both a challenging and rewarding role, and that it’s okay to make mistakes and to not have everything figured out. We are strong, capable, and doing our best, despite any difficulties or challenges we may be facing.

We are not broken, we are the Kintsugi mums!

Take care and be well.

Busymumhacks x

 

January 17, 2023 0 comment
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Family friendly recipes

Quick recipe when feeling unwell

by Busymumhacks December 22, 2022
written by Busymumhacks

When you are unwell, eating is probably the last thing that you have in mind.  However, it is important to nourish your sick body to recuperate. When I am sick, I like to eat a simple dish without too much of flavour or spice. My go to foods is congee or as known as rice porridge and clear chicken bone broth.   

These ingredients are usually readily available in my fridge or pantry.

Congee or Rice Porridge

Cooking rice porridge in a stove can be painful. Although I have done it in the past even when I was unwell, I am glad that I now have Thermomix so I can lay down resting while it is cooking the perfect (not burn at the bottom of the pan) congee.

The original recipe for the rice porridge is in the Cookidoo.

Ingredients

  • 180 g long grain white rice
  • 1200 g water
  • 300 g sweet potato, peeled and cut into cubes (3 cm)*

Gadget you need      

Thermomix TM6

Methods

  1. Place rice, water and sweet potato into mixing bowl and cook 20 min/100°C/ /speed , placing simmering basket instead of measuring cup onto mixing bowl lid. Divide between 6 bowls to serve.

*I use century egg and chopped spring onion instead of sweet potato and put it back to the bowl for another 10 min.  I use salt, white pepper powder and maggie soya sauce to taste.

Clear Chicken Bone Broth

These are the ingredients and methods for clear chicken bone broth.

Ingredients

  • Chicken frames or chicken with bones
  • Salt
  • White pepper
  • Spring onion
  • Fried shallots

Gadget you need

  • Cooking pot deep enough for the chicken and water to submerge

Methods

  1. Rinse the bones or chicken
  2. Put the bones in the cooking pot and water
  3. Bring it to boil then throw the water
  4. Fill in the cooking pot again with water again and bring it to boil for the second time
  5. Put salt and white pepper powder
  6. Sieve the bone and serve with spring onion and fried shallot.
  7. Drink while hot

Head to busymumhacks.com for simple recipe for our busy lives x

December 22, 2022 0 comment
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Mum self care

10 Daily Practicals Routine

by Busymumhacks December 15, 2022
written by Busymumhacks

As a busy working mums, daily time management can be challenging. 

Tasks are started the moment we wake up.  

It is a tough gig and extremely tough especially if you must do it solo most of the time.  

In summer, my body clock follows the sunrise therefore I wake up early while in winter, my body just know when to wake up.

I sometime wake up early because my body wakes me up naturally.  I listen to it. Instead of rolling around on the bed, I do some stuff, yes, random stuff like decluttering, sorting out papers or kitchen, journalling, listening to podcasts, etc whatever time I wake up.

Following are 10 practicals idea that you can implement for juggling work and personal life daily:
1. Drink enough water

A glass of room-temperature water after sleep is good to wake up internal organs.  It is recommended to have it within 30 minutes of waking up time. Your body will thank you for this. Drink water throughout the day.

A glass of water to start the day!

2.  Morning stretch

I practise Yoga with Adrienne and Charley Yoga because it is quick and I feel the effect almost immediately. Be mindful and intention about the yoga movement in the morning.  The body is adjusting from sleeping so be gentle. I caught up with this myself a few times that I sprained my left arm because I got excited when the body warmed up a little.

Stretch your body!

3. Have a sip

What’s your favourite beverage in the morning? I hope it is not a carbonated drink.  I can’t drink coffee due to the high caffeine in it so I have a sip of tea in the morning.  This is a luxury thing for me so if I don’t have the time at home, as soon as I get to the office, I make myself a cuppa before starting to check my emails and tasks to do for the day.

Enjoy that luxury time of sipping warm drink slowly!

4. Meditate

Do you meditate regularly?  I learned meditation due to my family upbringing as a Buddhist. It wasn’t a 5-minute meditation, as a youngster, I did at least 30-minutes meditation. We can talk more about that in another blog. However, recent years, I have been introduced to an apps Insight Timer to do guided meditation for any topics. 

I choose 5-10 minutes one and around grateful or any important event for the day. I meditate for lots of things such as before an interview while using the public transport as soon as I sit down.  Meditate is not recommended while driving a car.

Start small then build up!

5. Breakfast or Brunch or straight to lunch

Do you have breakfast? I am not a cereal person. I like warm foods in general due to my upbringing.  I was fortunate that when I grew up, a warm breakfast meal is served on the table before school. It is a time to chat with my parents especially my father because that is the time of the day that we are together while dinner time was depend on if he was home on time to have dinner together. 

Now, my son has a breakfast every day before school while I sometime have it or get something light on the way to the office or just skip it completely and have a proper lunch.  

Breakfast or not having breakfast, it’s your choice.

Asian Japanese family has breakfast at home. Asian mom, dad, and daughter feeling happy talking together while eat bread, corn flakes cereal and milk in bowl on table in the kitchen in the morning.

6. Plan your day and have regular breaks

Set the priorities for the day/week if it hasn’t been done last week.  Planning will keep your day/week productive.  I work in front of the computer a lot during the day if not going to a meeting, and I can spend hours for not getting up from my chair other than the toilet break. 

I now intentionally walk and chat with colleagues and stretch my upper body, so it doesn’t lock into closing posture from using keyboard frequently.  I am thankful that the office desk is adjustable so I can work while stand up during the day.  Remember to get your daily water intake around 2 litre a day and lunch break away from your screen. 

Find your break and plan it intentionally!

7. Set up boundaries

Like a boss, yes, you heard it right. Your boss at work may not like this but it works wonder for working mums.  The truth is as busy working mums, we have the ultimate boss at home. I don’t mean your husband or partner.  It’s your little one.  They couldn’t care less if you had a bad day at work or if you are sick, they still need your attention 24/7. 

I worked long hours before child and was still working long hours when returning to work after maternity leave, but I couldn’t sustain it for long time. When I say about boundaries, it doesn’t mean that neglecting work completely.

Relax Asian mother reading a book on sofa and father with daughter painting art in living room at home.

Get the work done and productive while you are at work. If lucky, we get an understandable boss or workplace that the old style of working is dead.  Thank goodness covid hit us.  In this context, it is a reset button to revisit the working style.  Work can be done anywhere and by showing up physically at the office, it doesn’t mean that workers are more productive than the workers at home.  The outputs and processes that needs to be measured not attendance.

Be firm on boundaries!

8. Listen to podcasts

I started to listen to podcast on my way home recently instead of trolling Facebook although I do that occasionally too.  The reason that I stop trolling on the bus is also because my eyes need a break from screen and the bus movement makes me feel sick.  The problem with trolling is time-consuming; it was started with 5 min then 60 minutes later, you are still there. I don’t watch TV at home so my life can feel like in a little bubble.  I don’t like TV because one needs to sit down for hours without doing anything else.

I forgot that I used to listen to the radio a lot for music.  I could pinpoint the stage of my life according to the song replays on the radio.  Now, I just shift what I am listening to without dismissing the music completely. There are range of podcasts to suit our needs around money, parenting and relationships.

Listen to your current interest!

9. Eat dinner

Our weekly dinner time is a quick process because I do Sunday Cook-up and only reheat daily.  I plan my meal from Sunday dinner to Thursday lunch.  Currently, the meal planning includes lunches and dinners.  It includes one meat (protein) with vegetables and carbohydrate.  We have one vegetarian day.

I am off from the kitchen from Friday to Sunday afternoon.  By doing meal planning, dinner time is less stressful and have time to spend quality time to help with creativity or read book before bed.

Do you do meal planning?

10. Sleeping

I was an easy sleeper.  I can do power nap of 20 minutes to refresh.  It changed over the time especially after giving birth. My sleeping pattern were shocking and only now after 3 years, my old self returns slowly. It happened previously that I really couldn’t continue working during the day. I wasn’t ill enough to go home but I need to lay my head down or in a relaxing posture.  Luckily, my workplace has a wellness room. 

Now, at night soon as the lights off and my head hits the pillow, it won’t last long for me to dose off.  I sometime can randomly wake up like 2.30am and started to get a few things done. This is usually only happened during the week so I can cope, and I listen to my body.  I have been told it still means that I don’t sleep well and that is for another discussion.

Power hour sleep!

Be kind to yourself and take care until then.

Busymumhacks x

December 15, 2022 0 comment
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We all deserve forgiveness
Mum self care

Let Go of Past Mistakes and Move Forward

by Busymumhacks December 9, 2022
written by Busymumhacks

2023 is just around the corner.

2022 is almost finished but our lives continue.

Did you set resolutions or intentions at the beginning of the year?

Have you achieved at least one of your resolutions?

If not yet, the good news is you have a lifetime to achieve your resolutions as long as you make a small step towards it.

On another note, did you make mistakes during the year?

Most of us mums are carrying the guilt mum.  The guilt of not being at home to care for children, the guilt of going to work, the guilt of missing a school concert, the guilt of not remembering the uniform-free school day, the guilt of yelling at the children and the list goes on.

We are hard on ourselves most of the time.

Forgiving others could be easier than forgiving ourselves. 

Society is not much of help either.  

We are constantly being judged.

Regret, shame, and guilt prevent us from letting go of our past mistakes. 

Rather than reflecting on the experience and learning from it so that we can move forward, we tend to dwell on these unfortunate times.

We easily remain trapped in the past if not consciously making a shift.

There are some simple strategies that can help you come to terms with the things that you have done in the past, learn from these missteps, and embrace a future that includes a fulfilling life.

Try these strategies:

1. Be bluntly honest with yourself and others about your errors and hold yourself accountable. 

  • Take time to reflect on the mistake that you’re unable to get over. Clearly identify what you did or didn’t do and own up to it instead of trying to justify your actions.
  • Acknowledging the error by being honest with yourself and stating where and how you went wrong is the first step to releasing the pain, guilt, and shame that you feel.
  • Examine the events and circumstances that led to your faux pas and be honest about how you felt then and are feeling now.
  • Consider how your mistake impacted others in both a physical and emotional sense.
  • Talk about your slip-up with a close friend, relative, counselor, or religious leader that you trust. Seek their opinion, feedback, and guidance about the severity of your error. It’s likely that they’ll see your mistake in a more forgiving light than you do.

If your poor decision resulted in a monetary loss, seek to make restitution.

2. Try to remedy the situation and make amends. 

Consider what you could have done differently to prevent your mistakes and develop a plan to act differently if you face a similar situation in the future. This can help you forgive yourself. You deserve forgiveness.

  • Even if it has been quite some time since the situation occurred, if the result of your error caused harm to others, consider offering an apology and asking for forgiveness. This action alone can be very healing for both you and the person that suffered harm because of your mistake.
  • Sometime there is no remedy to the situation and that is OK.  If you’re unable to make amends with those who were directly affected, consider doing good deeds and acts of kindness to show to yourself and others that you truly regret your actions.
  • If your poor decision resulted in a monetary loss, seek to make restitution.
  • Share your story with others so that they might be able to avoid making the same error.

3. Realise that you’ve grown and you’re no longer the same person that made the original slip-up. 

Continue to seek ways to help others, pay it by giving advice from your experience and avoid actions that might lead to a similar lapse of judgment in the future.

All of us make mistakes, and sometimes they come with serious and grave consequences. 

Regardless of how serious our errors might have been, all of us deserve forgiveness. 

Seizing the opportunity to repent and make amends will help everyone involved heal and put it in the past and move forward lightly.  We all deserve forgiveness.

For more working mum hacks, head to www.busymumhacks.com

December 9, 2022 0 comment
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Mum self care

Meditation helps me to set intentions for each day

by Busymumhacks November 6, 2022
written by Busymumhacks
Do you meditate?

What do you know about meditation?

Have you ever done meditation?

How was your experience with meditation?

Meditation helps me to set intentions and mood for most days.

Meditation can be daunting if you have never done it previously alone. I grew up learning meditation by default due to my family upbringing as a Buddhist family.

The meditation that I learned was a long meditation for an adult yet alone for a child like me. I was also told and taught not to lose mind and self during meditation otherwise any spirit will enter my body because meditating means leaving the body behind.

As a busy mum, I find it hard to do self-care activities. I opted for an optimise yet simple activity for my well-being instead of wishing of the glamorous activity to care for myself.

I chose to meditate.

Today, I acknowledge that there is significant value in meditation. Meditation doesn’t have to be long.

Meditation doesn’t have to be sitting down only in one position.

I meditate while commuting on the bus to work or from work for 5-10 minutes. This is the perfect time for me – between the morning rush at home and the endless things to do at work.

Being present in each moment allows me to have days that are fulfilling. Conscious involvement in each thing that I do encourages positive decision making. When I meditate, it helps me to set my intentions for the day ahead.

Each morning gives me a chance to define my purpose in life. The quiet time when I wake up helps me to formulate a plan for making the most of my time.

Meditation allows me to connect to my inner beliefs. Having that connection reminds me to focus on what I truly value. I live according to what I believe is wholesome and just.

When I look within, I consider the impact that my actions have on my circle of influence. My focus is on being a positive influence for those people.

As I meditate, I realign myself with that focus and commit to living positively for the day. I show leadership at work by being present and mindful with my words, contributions, and actions. I extend a helping hand to my colleagues.

Quiet time at the end of each day also helps me to re-center myself. Reflection allows me to identify shortcomings and develop a plan of action to overcome them.

Being able to focus on my inner being in the busy schedule is helpful in allowing me to experience rewarding days.

I use insight apps or Happy Everyday book by Ajahn Brahm. Happy meditating.

Busymumhacks x

For more working mum hacks, head to www.busymumhacks.com

 

November 6, 2022 0 comment
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Home organization

A Busy Mum’s Hacks to Minimalism

by Busymumhacks November 4, 2022
written by Busymumhacks
Motherhood can increase your motivation to live simply, and at the same time make it harder to cut back.

You want to be a good role model, but a growing family tends to accumulate more possessions and commit to more activities. While minimalism is likely to help you save money, there are other benefits of minimalism that may be even more important.

You can enjoy the advantages of a simpler life whatever your circumstances and philosophy. Maybe you’re simplifying voluntarily or under pressure from financial setbacks. Maybe you define minimalism as growing your own food and making your own clothes or just spending less money at restaurants and shopping malls.

Busy mums let’s start living instead of hoarding.

Here come the general hacks:
1. Slow down.

Calm your mind and clarify your thinking by resisting the urge to rush. You’ll feel more creative, and you’ll accomplish more with less effort.

2. Appreciate boredom.

Give your children the opportunity to become bored. Modern life makes it easy to go through the day being passively entertained. When they’re forced to rely on their own resources, your children will discover the power of their imagination and the benefits of unstructured play.

3. Connect with nature.

The beauty and peace of green spaces enhances our mental and physical health. Take your children for a walk through the park. Visit forests and oceans when you vacation.

4. Avoid comparisons.

Watching celebrity couples with full time nannies or reading Super Mom blogs can make anyone doubt their parenting skills. Set your own standards and work at being the best version of you.

5. Manage stress.

Show your children how to set aside time for reflection and relaxation. Try meditating briefly or taking a few deep breaths.

6. Communicate your plan.

Let your child know what to expect for the day. Clear plan is easier for everyone to manage the expected and deal with the unexpected accordingly.

Here comes the house specific hacks:
1. Plan your meal.

Planning your meal reduces the stress of thinking what to eat daily and creates more time for other things during the week.

2. Eat as a family.

Eating as a family lead to closer relationships and better nutrition. Join each other at the dinner table for a homemade meal at least once a week.

3. Divide up chores. 

Learning to take responsibility prepares children for adulthood. Assign age- appropriate tasks to each family member instead of trying to do everything yourself.

4. Run errands together.

Use your time more efficiently by bringing your children with you to the grocery store. They can practice reading labels and doing arithmetic.

5. Limit toys.

It’s difficult to keep toys from multiplying, especially around birthdays and holidays. Create a system for keeping the total volume under control. You might want to try rotating toys by giving your child only a few to play with each week. Or, encourage regular toy donations to charities that help kids. We joined toy library membership to limit toys in the house.

6. Reduce clutter.

Consider what other items you have around the house that you rarely use. You can clean your house faster when you get rid of clutter. As a result, your surroundings will also feel more comfortable and look more attractive.

7. Monitor technology.

The internet can be used wisely for communication and education, but too much screen time can hinder your child’s development. Create house rules like no phones at the dinner table and turning off all devices at least two hours before bedtime.

However far you decide to go while minimising your consumption, you’ll be teaching your children to value a more mindful and meaningful life. Buying and owning less stuff will give you the freedom to enjoy what you already have.

By implementing the minimalism life, you’ll have fewer distractions and more time and energy to devote to your family.

Busymumhacks x

Resonate with what you are reading, head to www.busymumhacks.com

November 4, 2022 0 comment
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Pausing and getting help are a few steps to avoid burnout
Mum self care

5 steps to avoid burnout

by Busymumhacks November 1, 2022
written by Busymumhacks

Burnout is more common than people realise and often easy to overlook. Busy mums already have so much to do, we don’t have time to work out why we’re feeling overwhelmed or why we can’t be bothered with that thing on our To Do list. The thing is, recognising symptoms of burnout and acknowledging when we are in that state takes courage, because we are really opening ourselves up to vulnerability and a process we often feel we don’t have time for. However, it is vital to address the reasons why you lack motivation or energy or mental clarity, as this will only help you remove the overwhelm and introduce calm and joy into your life and family.

According to Cambridge Dictionary,  ‘Burnout is the state of having no energy or enthusiasm because of working too hard or a feeling of not being able to work anymore’. If you’ve ever wondered why you sometimes just ‘can’t be bothered’, this may be a clue!

There are many causes of burnout, and often there are multiple factors contributing to any given case
of burnout, but PositivePsychology.com.au lists the top five as:

  1. Unrealistic work expectation
  2. Micromanagement
  3. Poor instructions
  4. Isolation
  5. Lack of support and unfair treatment

Symptoms can be both physical and behavioural. Examples of physical symptoms are feeling exhausted, being unable to recover from the common cold, frequent headaches, frequent gastrointestinal problems, sleep disturbances, and shortness of breath. Examples of behaviours are irritability, heightened emotional responses, suspicion and paranoia about colleagues, substance abuse, stubbornness, rigid thinking and unwillingness to listen to other people, negative attitude, and appearing depressed.

When I experienced burnout in my professional life, many of the symptoms above were present and it took me months to recover. Burnout doesn’t always require medication – I am a positive person generally, so when it happened for the second time, I recognised and was aware that I need to do something about it. Of course, there are sometimes more severe cases that require qualified support, so if that is where you’re at, I encourage you to seek professional help.

My experience with burnout taught me what to look for and what actions to take to heal and get my life back on track:

1. Letting go

This is a big one for me because I give 110% to any tasks I need to complete. However, over time, I realised that everyone’s standard is different and that standards are often subjective. The only thing I (or anyone) can really do is try my best and let go of the things I can’t control.

2. Pausing

Pausing a busy lifestyle may feel like falling from a bike because balance requires you to keep peddling. I am still learning too, but I consciously blank out my day on the weekend for not doing anything much.

3. Asking for help

Asking for help doesn’t mean that I am incapable of performing my work. It is a sign of strength, as it takes courage to risk rejection if you don’t get the help you ask for. I ask for lots of help from my ex’s family and I realised that, without their help, I just simply can’t be everywhere at the same time. If you don’t have a support network around you, I recommend seeking out a support group in your local area that can provide you with the social connection and information you need. There are also many safe online spaces that provide this kind of support, like my Facebook group [name].

4. Self-care

No one else can love you more than yourself. At the same time, no one else can harm you more than yourself. I book an annual facial treatment and massage on my birthday, and I treat myself to these or other therapies or services – such as remedial massage or physiotherapy – whenever I feel like I need support or nourishment.

5. Healthy living

When I have things on my mind, I simply can’t sleep, which only makes it worse! Exercise – even just a 10 minute yoga session – helps with my sleep, and healthy eating and drinking water regularly ensures that my body stays nourished.

The most important thing to remember is that this is all a process. Don’t expect yourself to suddenly be able to do all these things seamlessly. Expect trial and error until you find a combination that works for you. And once you do – and commit to taking care of yourself – you will start to see changes happening in your life for the better.

For more hacks, head to www.busymumhacks.com

November 1, 2022 0 comment
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Money management

8 Ways for Busy Parents to Manage this Holiday Season

by Busymumhacks October 28, 2022
written by Busymumhacks

Officially, it is 5 weeks to go to Holiday season or 7 weeks to the end of the year 2022.

Feeling the pressure yet?

The commercialisation of any event drives me crazy. Credit cards come out more often these days to buy things on sale because everyone seems to be finding a bargain and you don’t want to miss the boat.

As busy mums, we have no time go to the brick-and-mortar shop but end up shopping online, which is equally dangerous if not more dangerous.

Have you ever felt like you’re being pulled in all directions?

To name a few: society, family, house, work, yourself.

You are not alone.

Take a deep breath. You got this!
Here are some hacks:
1. Focus on the essence – what you can control.

It is natural for humans to feel stressed when something is not your business as usual. One of the most important lessons in life is to learn to divert our focus towards the essence – what we can control. The known factor.

● What is the actual meaning of Christmas?
● Is Christmas the only time for gifting?

2. Budgeting

With limited funds or at least intentionally setting the budget will go a long way. I budget my spending so I can control my spending. If you are like me, I happen to memorise my credit card details therefore it can be dangerous. No judging here, please. The numbers just make more sense to me. I use my credit card for points and pay it off at the end of the month. I still live within my mean although I can try to tighten my belt even more. It really helps to focus on the necessary.

 

 

3. Prioritise quality than quantity.

Do more gifts mean better? With many products to choose from these, it is easy to buy endless stuff especially when earning a big paycheck. People obviously can do whatever they want to do with their money, however we are part of a larger society than just our four walls house. Is it many stockings toy make a child happier or is it just a way of parent showing ego or guilt? The point in number two helps.

I challenge you to think of a gift with the following criteria:

● Something that is needed
● Something to wear
● Something to read
● Something to challenge their mind

4. Breathing and meditation

When you feel overwhelmed, be intentional with your breathing. Breathing increases the oxygen that goes to your brain and creates a state of calmness. We take breathing for granted because it is an auto-pilot activity, but the belly breathing is another level of breathing, and it can be incorporated with the quick meditation.

 

 

5. Small changes can make big improvements

I must admit that I enjoyed the covid lockdown for a few years. Covid wasn’t small but I treated it as a reset button. I challenged myself more now with my behaviour and actions. Life before covid and it will soon be returning was the holiday season was so busy to go from one house to another house for gathering and I felt that I needed a holiday from the holiday. There was no time for me.

● Do you need to go to every invitation especially if it is the same crowds in different houses?
● Do you need to buy everyone gift only because?

6. Eat nutritious food

Holiday without festive foods would be a bland celebration. I love food and people say it is because I can afford it, but the truth is in general I eat balanced food. Where possible choose your food or eat a smaller portion if you want to try every delicious food served. Food is for survival and not for binge.

 

 

7. Move your body

Integrating exercise into your busy schedule is hard, however, at minimum you could do body movement activity can rejuvenate your body and mind. Being outdoors helps clear your thoughts, quick yoga stretch helps stiffness and blood flow in your body.

8. Ask for help – plan ahead

The school holiday is long. It is extremely long when you are solo parenting and working full time. The usual help from teachers at school is not going to be there.

● Plan ahead the leave from work
● Who will look after your child when you need to work
● What activities to do for the child during the holiday
● Communicate the plan clearly with your child

The demands of getting things done before the year end countdown are strong. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and as if you’re not doing enough, especially when you want to give everyone around you your world yet so little time available.

Taking the conscious steps to manage this holiday season will help not just you, but also the ones around you.

Less is more!
You got this, busy mums
With love x

For more hacks, head to www.busymumhacks.com

October 28, 2022 0 comment
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